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What is Racism?

on September 23, 2020

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I Wish I'd Never Been Skinny

I have always been thin. Thin enough, at least. Sometimes I’ve been chunky. Like when I was travelling in Australia and drank heavy, red wine whilst battling a binge eating problem. I was depressed and my weight seemed to be the devil on my shoulder telling me I was worthless and ugly. How much I weighed became an insidious obsession. It kept me up at night and had me dressing in baggy clothes. I’d stare at myself in the mirror, willing something else to look back at me. I felt so uncomfortable in my own skin. My entire life revolved around food. I had a love/hate relationship with it and would restrict myself so much that I’d end up binging on entire chocolate cakes and huge bags of sweets until I felt sick. I’d feel hopeless, teary, and immensely depressed for the rest of the day. I’d exercise to try and get the calories out and considered sticking two chocolate stained fingers down my throat. The only thing that stopped me was knowing the frightening cycle of bulimia and vowing I’

Breathe

Yesterday afternoon I went to Tesco, after spending the morning agonising over whether I could justify going when I needed but a few things. As I’m sure is true for many of you quivering anxious wrecks out there, every action during this lockdown is a well-thought out result of some careful justification, pros and cons, and copious deep breaths. The queue to get in was insane, it stretched across a giant carpark and around Starbucks, almost onto the busy road behind. But the sun was shining cheerily in the bright blue sky so I didn’t mind the wait and basked in the glorious rays, smiling at everyone who passed. So many people didn’t see the queue and tried to walk straight in but staff were on hand to explain nicely that there was a line of people waiting. Once I made it inside I stayed my two metres from everyone and greeted people with smiles. During lockdown I have felt such a sense of community with everyone. Whenever I take a walk I say hello to everyone and everyone greets me w

Mrs Ego and Mr Id

The ego and the id. I’ve been studying this lately and applying it to the Netflix show Bojack Horseman . If you haven’t seen it, go watch it, and stick it out for as long as you can before you feel like swallowing a handful of pills. It’s some hard-hitting stuff, despite being a cartoon. In fact, I believe it must be a cartoon because of how heavy it is. Many of the characters are half-human, half-animal with Bojack being half-human, half-horse. Removing the realism from the subject seems to be very deliberate in its delivery of some tough issues. In fact, nothing in the show feels coincidental, everything is deliberate and psychoanalytic. If you’re unaware of the ego and the id, it is a Freudian theory in which the id within us comes first, followed by the ego. The id is our natural state of being, with no understanding of the world. The id is what drives us to pleasure and has no concept of consequences. When we are born, we are governed by the id. Think of a child ru

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What is Racism?

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